To the Unrecognizable Pink-faced Bride:

28 Aug

First, prep with moisturizer.

Humidity and lotion blend,

Make a base for your case,

A tenuous foundation for

Your evening’s battleship.


Next, slap on the goop,

Three shades pinker than

Your steadfast brown,

So your neck and face look like

Distant cousins, four times removed.


Darken the brow, line it with dots of color,

Interchangeable, like men & destiny, then

Brush on a violent fuchsia, as vivid as your

Dreams, your natural blush buried deep within,

Like practice for latent desires.


Line your mouth, the boundaries of

Your speech, carefully crafted in

Lurid tones, soon to seep away.

Don’t stretch its corners, for cracks will

Show, and it is too soon for that: yet.


Trace the hoods of your

Eyes, lowered in compliance,

Unfilled with dreams, you just want your

Liner to dry. Sweep on mascara, brush-on dark pleasure,

Gaze wide and unseeing at the throngs that come to view.


Garish and ghastly, you’re the pink-faced bride,

Another for a day, admired in hi-definition avatar,

Brightness and color at max. When the war paint is off,

You’ll revert to someone you know, and I’ll rejoice that

Wedding days are rather few in a lifetime.

13 Responses to “To the Unrecognizable Pink-faced Bride:”

  1. alice August 29, 2012 at 11:36 am #

    So lovely, so true and I esp love these lines:

    So your neck and face look like
    Distant cousins, four times removed.

    I know of so many brides who could kill their makeup waalis if they saw them again. Crime? Ghastly unnatural make up forcibly put on the bride.

  2. Pallavi August 29, 2012 at 11:42 pm #

    I did mine at my wedding. Swift and simple. Saved money. And saved face–literally. 😀

  3. Orange Jammies August 30, 2012 at 8:57 pm #

    alice: You know what’s scarier, so many of these women believe this *is* the way to look, “otherwise your face will look dark in the lights”. So you look like the Bride of Frankenstein in front of 1000 people on your wedding day just so you can reminisce over your pasty face in the wedding album for the rest of your life?! Err, duh much?

    Pallavi: 😆 Smart woman. At least you could be sure your spouse would recognize you.

  4. sukanya August 31, 2012 at 8:39 am #

    This reminded me of my wedding day make-up disaster. I am a dark skinned gal, but on that day I looked like a Geisha!

  5. roxana August 31, 2012 at 10:09 am #

    This reminds me of the stunned silence that followed, when I told my cousins of my desire to not be subjected to ‘wedding makeup’ – too many of the lovely chocolate- skinned women in my family, who looked anything but beautiful, under the many layers of white paint (it doesn’t deserve to be called make-up) that was brushed upon them.This, on the one day that most of them expected to look their most beautiful. So many photographs to remind them of the disaster that it turned out to be.

  6. Vishakha September 1, 2012 at 4:27 am #

    Absolutely loved this ….!!!!. ESPecially loved the line your lips bit…..master piece really…

  7. dipali September 1, 2012 at 11:22 pm #

    Thank God I escaped the gloop! I had a daytime wedding, and a good friend did my make up! Gorily graphic and spot on as ever, OJ!

  8. Orange Jammies September 3, 2012 at 11:09 pm #

    sukanya: Believe me, honey, you have plenty of company. If that is any consolation. 😦

    roxana: Exactly. Thank you for understanding!

    Vishakha: Thanks. 🙂

    dipali: Good thing too! The best wedding make-up I’ve seen is my cousin’s, and her friend did it. She subtly glowed, instead of looking like she had a clown mask on.

  9. Aunty G. September 20, 2012 at 2:14 am #

    Didn’t/don’t ever wear the goop
    To me it always looks like poop
    Being oneself — natural
    Is always manageable
    Besides avoiding the end-of-the-day scoop!

  10. Orange Jammies October 1, 2012 at 2:35 pm #

    Aunty G: None at all? 🙂 Not even on your wedding day?

  11. Aunty G. October 2, 2012 at 12:09 am #

    No, OJ, not even on my wedding day
    The bT wouldn’t have it any other way
    Just a pink pearly lipstick
    Was what made him tick
    But yes, the goop was donned when in a show or play!

  12. Orange Jammies October 3, 2012 at 1:21 pm #

    Aunty G: Tell us more about your plays. 🙂


  1. The “Just Married Please Excuse” Contest « Wisdom Wears Neon Pyjamas - August 30, 2012

    […] than a smidgen of make-up. Given that it was a daytime affair, I was not going to look like those ghastly fuchsia-faced brides that could star in The Revenge of the Make-up Lady. I was NOT interested in looking fairer than my […]

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