Archive | September, 2009

Neurotica

29 Sep

She stared at her “canned” section testily. Ran her eyes over the months with odd-numbered posts. Felt dissatisfied about those that didn’t end evenly.

December: 15 posts

May: 7

And then, just because she couldn’t bear one more month of unevenness, she ratcheted up the word count and ended September with a respectable 10.

Whew.

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If It’s Tuesday, This Must Be…

22 Sep

…..baby babble!

OJ: Which animal is this?

Little T: A kangaroo.

OJ: And what is its baby called?

Little T: Juhi.

Come to think of it, Ms. Chawla is about that high.

In the South They Have a Mouth

21 Sep

a.k.a. This Townie Gets No Brownie

OJ: Hey, you went to Khandala?

BFF: Yeah, office off-site. Ghattu went too.

OJ: Oh fun! His first trip out of Bombay!

BFF: Not really, he’s been to [the Boy’s former suburban home], no?

Reserve your judgement, people. As a teenager, I used to have a pen-pal in Andheri. We even met once.

October Already

18 Sep

October already, and

the trees lose their damp;

Silently into the night

it slips,

taking umbrage in sleeping forms and steam,

picking its way through drunken brawls and

leftovers.

***

October already, and

the clouds are amiss;

Gone to their grandma’s across

the bay,

Family feuds incite migrations

But if you never look upward

you can pretend they’re here still.

***

October already, and

the guttural discontent

climbs out of our bellies,

loops over shoulders and necks,

stops by the iris to nod hello,

before strangling us smugly

in our beds.

Laydeez and Gennelmen…

16 Sep

…may I (insanely proudly) present to you….

ADELE!

adele 1

Black Beauty doesn't have a thing on her.

adele 2

No daughter of mine is ever going to match those waifish looks.

Look the other way now!

Look the other way now!

Now, now, no stampeding, boys and girls. Go git your own.

And no, that’s not two extra pounds I’ve put on since she arrived. It’s called being chuffed.

.

The Return of Confucius

14 Sep

a.k.a. Treasure at your Leisure

***

OJ: What is this?

Little B: This is a nose.

OJ: What do you do with it?

Little B: I dig it.

What was that again about Monday mornings being crap?

The Death of Lapwanti

8 Sep

Yes, again.

And this time she’s gone for good.

I love scribbling update-type posts about as much as the majority of you seems to love reading them (which is nada, for the unplugged among us), but I could do with some sympathy here. C’mon, people, gush forth now. I’ll even leave you with some neon wisdom while I dither between the possibility of an electronic successor and lifelong penury. These ears, they strain for applause.

***

Real strength lies in not hurting someone when you know just how easily you can.