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All Rise

10 Sep

True spirituality involves not stealing another’s garlic bread.

~Me to the Boy over dinner last night.

~

What?! Are you going to disagree?? 😯

Fortune Kooky

22 Jul

People with limited imaginations suffer less.

They have fewer options to consider.

~Me to the Boy as he dropped me home after watching Inception.

(We’re going again tonight, weather permitting. Imax this time.)

Sigh & Low

25 Jun

Please get groundnuts for my friend. She sits at the window and pleads for food.

~A text Dad sent Mum today.

I have a precious, unique disadvantage.One that I would never trade. With a father this gentle, all other men seem like brutes. 😦

The friend, by the way, is a parrot.

That Heeling Spirit

6 Jun

I’ve just realized the secret to true happiness.

It’s not a man.

It’s not babies.

It’s a closet full of brand new shoes.

J, at last, I feel wholly fulfilled.

~Me to the BFF, all enlightened and aglow.

Her response:

You clown, you’ve been watching too much Sex & the City.

Sigh.

But you guys understand, don’t you?

Don’t you? 😦

Book Hook

31 May

The scene: Me and friends at a bookstore in Reading, urgently hunting down a couple titles for me before our train to London arrived.

(It was the sweetest sight I’ve seen in a while, two grown men scrambling up and down floors and shelves so I could have what I wanted. College buds, they’re for life.)

Friend A: This title called The Female Eunuch, would you have it?

Staffperson: I’ll check.

OJ (racing up): And do you have The Madwoman’s Underclothes?

Staffperson (smiling ever so wryly): Oh madam, do I have the answer to that!

English humor, I could marry you.  I’d even do the dishes.

The Other Side of the Fence

12 Apr

a.k.a. Every Blade in the Glade

Credits: OJ and her Canon PowerShot SX120 IS.

It’s such beautiful weather here… spring! Playing tennis under leafy green trees with a bit of sun and the occasional light breeze wafting by…

~A friend on chat this evening, totally unmindful of the fact that my color resembles the picture’s.

Ryan, this one’s for you. I recommend clicking to enlarge. Sheesh, never mind how that sounds.

When in Haryana

1 Apr

I spelled out my full name to a booking agent over the phone the other day and here’s what followed:

OJ: _ as in _, _as in _, ……

Agent:*silence*

OJ: Hello?

Agent: Are you an Indian national?

OJ: Yes

Agent: Different name, no?

OJ: It’s a Parsi name. Have you met a Parsi before?

Agent: Oh. You are the first Parsi I have ever spoken to!

OJ: Congratulations.

And such it goes. Perhaps now it’ll be easier to accept that tribal status. I should’ve thrown in a couple war cries while I was at it. Pity he couldn’t see my plumage. Tsk.

The Fine Line

23 Mar

I could never be a poet. I demonstrate an appalling lack of eye make-up skills.

~Me to a girlfriend.

Hope springs eternal, though. Tonight we go goop shopping. Here and here. Suggestions, people? Any lesser-known brands that are gentle on the skin?

So They Say

3 Mar

OJ *hacking loudly for effect*: Oooh, I’m going to die of consumption!

The Boy *not even looking up*: Given how much you consume….

***

Did you hear that? A-B-C* this, A-B-C this! A-B-C it now!

~ Just another conversation at my current workplace. A-B-C stands for the antecedent-behavior-consequence analysis in behavior therapy. Oh, to be surrounded by good old shrinks. :mrgreen:

***

OJ (addressing a two-foot someone in a baby yoga class):And why aren’t you being a butterfly today?

Little J (yawning): My wings broke.

So You Wanted Drama

25 Feb

I’ve been assigned guard duty at my cousin’s wedding tomorrow, in case her mother-in-law shows up to stop it. Why me, I ask?

~Me to MM, on chat.

What was that again about Parsis being peaceful people?

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