Where Do Lurkers Go To Die?

28 Dec

Where do lurkers go to die?

When they’re done scanning surreptitiously,

Flitting behind translucent screens,

Consuming voicelessly the offerings of another,

Nodding in mute agreement,

Dissenting distantly,

They scuttle back into the black hole

From whence they came.

Rise and shine the next morning,

Train those eyeglasses again,

Voyeurism can’t be bad if we’re all snoops (right?)

And saying hello might just kill us.

So this army of lipzipped bystanders

Scuttles back into the black hole

From whence it came,

Shut the lid for good measure,

There, now we’re follow-proof!

Maybe that’s where lurkers go

to die.

44 Responses to “Where Do Lurkers Go To Die?”

  1. D rat.. December 28, 2008 at 2:31 pm #

    if i delurk will that save me from the imminent death??

  2. dipali December 28, 2008 at 10:27 pm #

    Trust you to get inspired by lurkers, OJ!
    This should inspire some of ’em to delurk:)

  3. M.... December 29, 2008 at 1:59 am #

    errrr…….whoooosh…into the blackhole i go….. 🙂

  4. wordjunkie December 29, 2008 at 2:05 am #

    You wound me.. I’m a recreational lurker myself 😦

  5. aneela December 29, 2008 at 2:47 am #

    i dont think lurkers actually settle/scuttle down to die in the black hole…I think they ‘hang around’ as that mysterious smell you can never really name.

  6. Mish December 29, 2008 at 6:48 am #

    ohhh thats a good one! it def will inspire some lurkers to delurk!! 🙂

  7. maidinmalaysia December 29, 2008 at 9:17 am #

    in other words, how many lurks would it take for a de-lurker to unlurk.

    We could ask the woodchuck who did something similar… ( How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood)

    or is this a mixed metaphor

    egad, sorry oj!

  8. Nino's Mum December 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm #

    hahahaha 🙂 completely envisioned a army of micro-robots called trolls, pecking away at your yummy creations, very much like charlie and the chocolate factory! how was christmas? and what did Santa get you?

  9. Thinking Cramps December 29, 2008 at 12:46 pm #


    Delurking for self-preservation and to evade labelling.

    Happy new and all that…

  10. ink & olives December 29, 2008 at 1:50 pm #

    lurker treads, lurker trips
    lurker bends, lurker grips
    lurker cries, lurker grins
    lurker bites, lurker sins

    lurker looks, lurker sees,
    lurker eats, lurker pees
    lurker arches his back
    towards the evening skies,
    calls out to his God
    and then, lurker dies.


  11. Namrata December 29, 2008 at 2:19 pm #

    alright. there you have me de-lurking!
    happy? 🙂

  12. Nino's Mum December 29, 2008 at 2:45 pm #

    something other than the tree ornament awaits you here:

  13. Orange Jammies December 29, 2008 at 2:49 pm #

    D rat: Congratulations. You have just been upgraded to blogger heaven. Thank you and do visit again.

    dipali: A happy consequence, I’d say. 🙂

    M… : No, wait, come baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

    wordjunkie: Not on this page you aren’t! But come, come, let’s unwound you over some chocolate brownies. Wednesday?

    aneela: Okay hush now here’s a little secret: My huge honking nose, it’s just for show. Limited functionality. 😉

    Mish: I didn’t anticipate it, but I’m glad it’s happening! 🙂

    maidinmalaysia: You’re a girl after my own heart. The woodchuck is my favorite ditty…yes, still.

    Nino’s Mum: Santa got me a very generous sparkly anniversary present, so we banned gifts at Christmas. Well, technically. He’s the gift that keeps on giving. :mrgreen:

    Thinking Cramps: But you delurked in person a long time ago! 😕

    ink & olives: …and the lord be praised, she writes again!

    Namrata: 🙂 Happy. Hello there!

  14. In love with my life December 29, 2008 at 5:42 pm #

    Hi…been reading you for a while.So here i am. I promise to will be visible more* sheepish smile*

  15. Happy Karma December 29, 2008 at 8:03 pm #

    {Feeling sheepish}Heeeooooooooo I come clean. There! That was easy.

  16. Sociologist on the Loose December 29, 2008 at 10:23 pm #

    Nice poem.

  17. Piper.. December 29, 2008 at 11:02 pm #

    🙂 🙂

  18. Orange Jammies December 29, 2008 at 11:29 pm #

    In love with my life: You will? Thanks. 🙂 Oh, and a belated happy anniversary!

    Happy Karma: See? It doesn’t make sense hiding if your site shows up on my blog stats every few days. 😉 Breathe easy now, brave soul!

    Socio: Poetry-wise, it’s probably the worst I’ve ever scribbled. The idea just carries it along. 🙂

    Piper: How was the trip??

  19. Gentle Whispers December 30, 2008 at 12:01 am #

    I confess. I’m a lurker too.

  20. Aunty G December 30, 2008 at 12:44 am #

    >>maidinmalaysia, with your OK, OJ: Heard this one?:
    how much ground would a groundhog grind, if a groundhog could grind ground? A groundhog would grind as much ground as a groundhog could, if a groundhog could grind ground!

  21. sukanya December 30, 2008 at 1:30 am #

    thanks god, i de-lurked before you published this…good one!

    Happy 2009

  22. roshni December 30, 2008 at 3:02 am #

    That was harsh! I am scared. De-lurking for the first time but certainly not the last. 🙂

  23. Piper.. December 30, 2008 at 4:12 am #

    white!! 🙂 it was beautiful. All of it. The drive, the snow, the lake, the log cabin.. all of it. Except that I lost in Scrabble – 5 times in a row!! Shall write about it sometime soon..

  24. Orange Jammies December 30, 2008 at 9:34 am #

    Gentle Whispers: I figured. 😉 Since you’ve linked to me. I applaud you for de-lurking.

    Aunty G: Such fun! 😀 Do you have any more?

    sukanya: Oh, I’m only half as evil as I sound. Really. 😛
    Happy 2009 to you too!

    roshni:… and effective, you must admit. Welcome. Here, check my mouth: there’s no bite in there. 🙂

    Piper: So pretty! Do you have pictures? Condolences on the Scrabble, but really, how can you focus in such a distracting environment? 🙂

  25. rajni December 30, 2008 at 12:55 pm #

    I plead guilty as well but it’s only because I was too lazy to comment 🙂
    Happy New Year in advance!

  26. Orange Jammies December 30, 2008 at 1:25 pm #

    rajni: Such an easy New Year resolution: “Will say hello on OJ’s blog.” Piece of cake! Advance wishes to you and family too.

  27. Nitya December 30, 2008 at 2:12 pm #

    I was going to sulk on behalf of the lurkers…. but that marvellous header picture has me making an appearance… (Applause) 🙂
    Well, I better go back to looking at ceramic and acrylic and all that…. have a great New Year!

  28. Chips December 30, 2008 at 10:50 pm #

    Haha!! I used to lurk around here!!

    Happy 2009, OJ.

  29. Thinking Cramps December 31, 2008 at 10:45 am #

    🙂 Now to come back to your city and lurk with you – at bakeries, coffee shops, exhibitions, etc. etc. etc.

  30. D rat.. December 31, 2008 at 3:23 pm #

    ah… now i am in peace…

    happy 2009… Party on OJ

  31. M.... January 1, 2009 at 10:30 pm #

    Happy New year OJ 🙂
    Hope this year brings lots of cheer and happiness…. !

  32. Piper.. January 2, 2009 at 11:28 am #

    hey, a very happy new year to you and your family! Here`s wishing you lots of peace..

  33. Nino's Mum January 2, 2009 at 12:50 pm #

    I’m so green: just read the bottega veneta post on twitter: and all my love for you aside, I’m very very very jealous.
    there, I said it.
    I’ve also said it here:
    Damn, girl, I’m going to have to come to bombay just to borrow it from you!

  34. Orange Jammies January 2, 2009 at 11:19 pm #

    Nitya: Good luck with decorating…oh, and the speedy carpenter! 😉

    Chips: And then you delurked, O smart one. Happy 2009. 🙂

    Thinking Cramps: When, when???

    D rat: To you too! 🙂

    M: Even peace and sanity will do. 😉 Happy new year, M.

    Piper: Thanks, girl. And I wish your family health and stability.

    Nino’s Mum: Sigh. I knew it. No one wants to meet me for me. It’s all about my fantastic leather. 😛

  35. Sue January 3, 2009 at 10:28 am #

    Oof! Oh all right, all right, I read you too.

    Mind you, the poem’s cool. Might steal it one of these days. 😉

  36. Thinking Cramps January 3, 2009 at 11:03 am #

    Not very soon, sadly. But almost 100% before end of 2009!

  37. AKM January 3, 2009 at 2:16 pm #

    That was mean, racist, bigoted, derogatory, pejorative and presumptive : ( (also funny, sadly).

    Just because we read and have nothing meaningful to say does not make us creeps!

    Up the Revolution! Down with 3 buttons!

    (See, we actually have nothing meaningful to say!)

  38. Orange Jammies January 4, 2009 at 11:20 am #

    Sue: Go ahead. I won’t sue. 😛

    Thinking Cramps: Yippee! I’ll be waiting!

    AKM: 😆 But you still managed to get a chuckle out of me. Now why won’t you do that regularly?

  39. Silvara January 7, 2009 at 6:32 am #

    Ok…delurking now too 😛

    Nothing wrong with looking at a beautiful painting and having no words to describe what you see 🙂

  40. Orange Jammies January 7, 2009 at 2:15 pm #

    Silvara: Flattery and excuses, my girl, will get you precisely nowhere. At least excuses won’t. 😛

  41. Nancy January 7, 2009 at 8:12 pm #

    Yeah well ok, I come here once in a while[thru piper] & read the whole page…..seriously I dont have a thing to say…or rather I shd say I dont have anything of value to add:-P.

    But let me ask u, dont u lurk at all?????

  42. Orange Jammies January 9, 2009 at 9:08 am #

    Nancy: “Hello” is easy enough, right? 🙂 And no, I don’t lurk repeatedly. I may visit a link, not care for what I see, shut the browser and not go back. Or I may browse in a hurry on busy days and go back to comment at another time. But all the people I regularly read (who are admittedly few in number) know I exist. I think it’s only polite, but I suppose not everyone agrees. 😉

  43. RM January 23, 2009 at 9:22 am #

    Ow! First time here.. but marking my attendance after that! I’ve read you at the youngfeminists site, tho’!

  44. Orange Jammies January 23, 2009 at 2:38 pm #

    RM: Welcome. 🙂 It doesn’t hurt after the first time. Promise.

Here's a bar of chocolate. Now talk to me. :)

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