Here I am, trying to call you to make sure you haven’t drunk yourself into a stupor, and there you are, in the headlines, winning the Booker! Congratulations! Now apartments and women should never be a problem again.
~In an email to our latest Booker winner.
P.S. He is not a drunk. I’m just hysterical.
Wisdom Wears Neon Pyjamas 
Vox populi