Archive | 12:05 am

Why Casanova Could Never Be Indian

9 Oct
  • Because his mother will call bang in the middle of sex.
  • Because naan just can’t replace rosemary foccacia.
  • Because ‘having a drink’ equals to chugging beers (and having a belly to prove it)
  • Because legs like those are best hidden under a veshti.
  • Because his idea of furniture is a rumpled-sheeted coir mattress.
  • Because he’s hard-wired to dribble over Amma’s cooking (never mind Appa’s 2 bypasses).
  • Because the only vacations he truly enjoys are guilt trips about being a dutiful son.
  • Because as soon as he leaves home, it will turn into a decrepit den of decay, abandonment and geriatric isolation.
  • Because he’ll scout around for garlic-free meals in Tuscany.
  • Because his mother will call bang in the middle of: a) cooking, b) shopping, c) driving, d) dancing, e) sneezing, f) showering, g) eating, h) napping….. and yes, sex.