No Meat Feat

9 Sep

Hands up those who’re related to well-meaning but bumbling folks who amuse us with their follies. Yup, totally expected that forest of waving arms. I’m no exception, and my community even has a special phrase to celebrate mix-ups, boo-boos, or whatever you want to call ’em.


Ladies and gentlemen, presenting:

Ghotala-ma-goas“, n. a big bungle

Pronounced: gho-taa-laa maa go-s

Direct translation: Meat in the mess-up


If you know anything about the Parsis, you will be aware that we’re a bunch of obligate carnivores. Mutton is our Mecca, our Holy Grail is the holy grill and many, many childhoods revolved around the thrill that was the arrival of the Chick Van.

Just like we break an egg on near everything, meat–good old goas–is dunked and simmered in dals, vegetables, rice, and ice cream. Okay fine, maybe not ice cream. So we have paapri-ma-goas, masoor-ma-goas, papeta-ma-goas, tamota-ma-goas, cauliflower-ma-goas, bheeda-ma-goas, and sakarkand-ma-goas, in addition to meat-specific dishes like kid goas (served at our wedding dinner), salli boti, chops, and cutlets.

Now that you have this introduction, you won’t be so surprised to learn that a bungle, in Parsi Gujarati, is called ghotala-ma-goas. Why leave the poor errors out in the cold while we feast on tender, juicy, fall-off-the-bone meat?

Let’s practice with an example:

They landed up at Eros instead of Sterling for the movie! Tsk, tsk. Such ghotala-ma-goas.

You try it:

These people OJ knows fed the same dog twice and starved the other one for 2 days straight. Now that’s a ghotala-ma-goas if there ever was one.

Your turn now: What legendary ghotala-ma-goases have you been a part of? C’mon people, get sharing! Let that be your Parsipanu pound of flesh. 😉

14 Responses to “No Meat Feat”

  1. RS September 10, 2013 at 9:33 pm #

    Billy Ray Cyrus parented Miley Cyrus. The largest ghotala-ma-goas ever.

  2. Aunty G September 10, 2013 at 11:03 pm #

    My Air Force Mortifying Moment
    Was when i mistook the Boss for a servant
    He gamely played on
    And never let on
    Till the welcoming-party-introducement!

  3. Meera September 11, 2013 at 3:34 pm #

    We have something similar in Tamizh, but it’s more related to errors in communication. “Gokulashtami na Ghulam Gajar” Literally translated it means – “I said Gokulashtami, you understood it as Ghulam Gajar” 🙂 We use it liberally when ghotala-ma-goas happens. 😀

  4. Aunty G September 13, 2013 at 9:51 pm #

    Pssst! Meera and Alice, knock-knock
    You need to check the previous talk
    Left something for you
    ‘Cos thanks were due
    And OJ, please top up the stock!

  5. i*Kan September 14, 2013 at 11:15 pm #

    Kan set out to try OJ’s key lime pie recipe. Ended up buying evaporated milk instead of condensed milk. Apparently there’s a difference. Total ghotala-ma-goas!

  6. Orange Jammies September 16, 2013 at 3:07 pm #

    RS: She really is your absolute favorite isn’t she? 😉

    Aunty G: 😆 The Boy and I have been chuckling about this ever since I read it.

    Meera: Thank you for sharing! I am going to try it out on some folks here.

    I*Kan: It was absolutely worth the mess-up for the laughter you triggered. 😀 Let me know how the pie turns out!

  7. alice September 16, 2013 at 11:39 pm #

    Aunty G: Thank you, thank you. Wish I could reply in verse, but such moments are rarer than OJ sharing her yum recipes 😉

  8. Aunty G September 17, 2013 at 8:21 pm #


  9. handwrittenonly September 21, 2013 at 11:33 am #

    Was walking through the Hollywood Bowl Tunnel towards bus #632, headed home. Spied a guy a little ahead who was the spitting (rear image) duplicate of my brother-in-law, wearing the same Hawaiian shirt that he had worn that same evening and even the gait was the same. Well I called out his name several times and given the din in the tunnel he never heard. My husband kept say “Nai, nai ay nathi!” but I was on a mission. I hustled my way up to the man and tweaked his ear and said “Can’t you hear me?….uh, uh, I’m so sorry I thought you were my brother-n-law”. Was glared at by his wife and lectured by my husband as I returned to him, red-faced! Total ghotala ma goas!

  10. Sara September 27, 2013 at 2:04 pm #

    kasari na kaan got me here :). Wanted to leave chup-chap but after ages read such a funny blog couldn’t help dropping a line. Good stuff.

  11. Orange Jammies September 27, 2013 at 4:59 pm #

    handwrittenonly: Hahaha! His Hawaiian shirt twin wasn’t pleased then? 😉

    Sara: I’m so glad you couldn’t help it. 🙂 Thank you and don’t leave chup-chap, okay?

  12. Sara September 27, 2013 at 6:34 pm #

    Okai! 🙂

  13. Orange Jammies October 8, 2013 at 5:34 pm #

    Sara: 😀


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