Archive | 10:38 am

A Scar In The Sty

5 Sep

Little Boy T was a teacher like no other. His first words to me, as I grasped his wrist, were “Fuck you!” Being two decades older than him was cancelled out by the fact that I was brought up in a home where ‘stupid’ is a cuss word. And from that moment on, I learned a few good things:

  • A 3-year-old needs exactly 2 ½ seconds to scoot.
  • If your mamma’s a junkie and she married daddy after he raped her at 14, you’re likely to be more than a little messed up.
  • Your stupid therapist who grew up under a rock will look blankly at you when she hears the word “reefer” (Okay, so in my defense, he pronounced it “weefer”.)
  • It takes time to get used to hugs if you haven’t been given any.
  • But sometimes we grow to love them pretty quickly.
  • We may all pretend to not give a tiny rat’s ass about approval, but we do, do, do.
  • Baby teeth can be deceptively vicious.
  • A mop of sandy hair bobbing at your knees each morning works better than caffeine.
  • One of the inherent qualities of the XY chromosome is the ability to aim.
  • You can tantrum with some people all of the time, with others some of the time, but you can’t be screeching “I hate you, bloody cow!” to your mamma, no sir.
  • When you hear “I’m stared by that noise in the sty” and “Oh, look at that pretty titty!”, it’s funny even the 100th time.
  • Stability is more than a house that won’t collapse in an earthquake.
  • When it comes to who’s helping whom, the lines are often blurred.

Happy Teacher’s Day, T.

Miss OJ can’t get your crinkled eyes out of her head.