I Call It Whorendous

15 Sep

The sea cringes tonight,

Like a first-time sex worker,

Resigned yet wary,

She spreads her legs tremulously and awaits the heave.

Wave after wave, they force themselves upon her,

Hooting, pink-stained, drunk on delight,

And silently she bears their victorious entry,

Lying still to soothe the quaking that feasts on her core.

And when the morning mist rises on the night’s debauchery,

Arms, torsos and severed trunks among the spoils,

She will lie naked, ashamed, exhausted and oozing,

Simply relieved to be alive.

13 Responses to “I Call It Whorendous”

  1. Aunty G September 15, 2008 at 10:41 pm #


  2. Thinking Cramps September 16, 2008 at 3:14 pm #

    Wow. This was amazing. And what a pun.

  3. Anindita Sengupta September 16, 2008 at 9:26 pm #

    Ooh…frightening. Or should I say whorific? 🙂

  4. Orange Jammies September 16, 2008 at 10:53 pm #

    Aunty G: What?! How else am I to react to the manic hordes shoving Ganesh idols into my beloved Arabian Sea?

    Thinking Cramps: I like a good pun|| It’s a decent slice of fun|| It’s quite hard to rhyme|| All the damn time|| But this, it’s easy to make one.

    Anindita: While we’re on the subject, why not whorizontal? 🙂

  5. Piper.. September 17, 2008 at 3:48 am #


  6. Piper.. September 17, 2008 at 3:51 am #

    cmon now OJ, isnt it a lil too horrific a picture, esp if it refers to the immersion of Ganesh idols? Its a similar chaos after durga puja in kolkata, but i wouldnt necessarily think of it this way.. 🙂

  7. Aunty G September 17, 2008 at 5:46 pm #

    OK, ok, i get your point
    About the Gs, the AS has to annoit
    But the subsequent puns
    Which’re going great guns
    Shows that your readers are most adroit!

  8. Orange Jammies September 18, 2008 at 4:25 pm #

    Piper: You appear confused. First you appreciate it and then you think it’s over the top? 😕 Now *I’m* confused!

    Aunty G: What’s in a pun,
    Anyone can make one,
    The real trick,
    Lies in a limerick,
    And you show us how that’s done!

  9. Aunty G September 18, 2008 at 7:59 pm #


  10. Dadoji September 20, 2008 at 5:17 am #

    First-time whore? Or an all-loving mother who tolerates her naughty kids?

    The sea, like the saints, is too vast and too deep…

  11. Orange Jammies September 20, 2008 at 3:47 pm #

    Aunty G: I’ll be calling you soon. My dad needs some Hyd-related information.

    Dadoji: I wouldn’t know about maternal tolerance. In all her 59 years, my mom’s accumulated a 2 cm sliver of patience.

  12. Aunty G September 20, 2008 at 10:15 pm #

    Will wait for you, my Friend
    And backwards-over bend
    To furnish all the info
    As soon as can, pronto
    Will be glad of any help to rend.

  13. Orange Jammies September 22, 2008 at 2:11 pm #

    Aunty G: Sorry, got busy with social-type things over the weekend. Will call this week.

Here's a bar of chocolate. Now talk to me. :)

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