How, Susanna?*

4 Sep

“Huh..,” I try.

“Hu…” again.

My breath snags, catches on a syllable and I swallow quickly.

“Boyfriend” rolls off the tongue like wine on warm skin.

Smooth. Familiar. An old shoe.

“Fiance” trips off in a tutu, twirling for effect, batting its mascara-soaked lashes and smiling coyly in Francais.

But hu…



Meet my husband. Oh, my husband isn’t home. I’ll let my husband know you called.

(Whew.) That one that takes a 32-year tongue some practice.

Ladies and gentlemen, the reason they married girls off at 14, revealed.


[*Obscure reference to Ruskin Bond’s short story Susanna’s Seven Husbands]

18 Responses to “How, Susanna?*”

  1. adarkcomedycalledlife September 5, 2010 at 3:03 am #

    Oh, so true! That word takes practice 🙂

  2. Tamanna September 5, 2010 at 8:36 pm #

    I know what you are saying. I was in my I-can’t-believe-I-actually-have-a-man-called-husband-in-my-life shock for the longest time after I got married 😛

  3. Pallavi September 6, 2010 at 10:13 am #

    You did? Really? Congratulations!!

  4. DewdropDream September 6, 2010 at 1:49 pm #

    I’m confused, am I to offer congratulations or not?

    In total agreement with the post though 🙂

  5. Roxana September 6, 2010 at 8:58 pm #

    Came here last evening, wasn’t sure if this was a ‘congratulations to you, OJ’ post, so went back. I am back again. Time for congratulations? 🙂

  6. smartassbride September 6, 2010 at 10:33 pm #


  7. Nino's Mum September 6, 2010 at 10:48 pm #

    ok. I’ve been away for waaaay too long. congratulations are due, but hell, I thought there’d be more of a tempest than a tounge twister 🙂 hugs.

  8. Anamika/Thinking Cramps September 7, 2010 at 10:57 am #

    I’m confused too, but why hold back on saying “Congratulations!” So, wishing you and The Boy all the very best. And yes, you’re so right, it’ll be 4 years in November but the word still feels weird.

  9. M..... September 7, 2010 at 7:30 pm #

    YaY! Congratulations!!

    (If you did indeed take the proverbial plunge else for thinking about life after the plunge 😀 )

  10. Aunty G September 8, 2010 at 1:29 pm #

    For heavan’s sake, Girl, put us out of our misery!

  11. the girlfriend in manhattan who moved away from the snow September 8, 2010 at 9:30 pm #

    dear fellow OJ fans,
    apparently, this really is ‘only’ a reference to the ruskin bond story! but hey, no reason for all of us not to toast and celebrate the wonder and laughter and madness that is OJ and the Boy!
    here’s to you guys…

  12. Orange Jammies September 8, 2010 at 9:49 pm #

    adarkcomedycalledlife: Yeah, and I don’t even like it!

    Tamanna: Glad to know I won’t be the only one when I go that route. 🙂

    Pallavi: Not really.

    DewdropDream: Not!

    Roxana: Not just yet. 😉

    smartassbride: Thanks. I’ll accept those for my stellar taste in men.

    Nino’s Mum: Oh there will be. Since when do I do things blandly? :mrgreen:

    Anamika: 🙂

    M….: But…but…I was just practicing! 😦

    Aunty G: There you go, Aunty G. 😀

    the girlfriend: Yeah, how about visiting your poor friend in Bombay, you Vegas-hopping, Italy-bound meanie? 😡 Looks like I’ll have to get hitched just so you show up! 😛

    Oh, and Nitya, lurker child, maybe you should check with me before chirping from Bengalooru. 😉

  13. Cee Kay September 9, 2010 at 8:33 am #

    Ha ha! For a minute I got very excited – until I read your replies to the comments, that is 🙂

    Congratulations anyway – for your taste in men, as you said 😀

  14. Orange Jammies September 9, 2010 at 4:10 pm #

    Cee Kay: Thank you, thank you. With the exception of Juhu Jerk, every one of them was/is a stellar specimen. 😀 And the exception only proves the rule.

  15. Cee Kay September 9, 2010 at 6:54 pm #

    LOL @ Juhu Jerk. So we name them too? Like our cars and purses? 😀

  16. M..... September 9, 2010 at 7:32 pm #

    *phew* Is it wrong for me to feel relieved that you did not get hitched just *yet* ?

    ( Makes me feel I do not have to think of the “H” word yet, though the parents will obviously disagree 😀 )

  17. nitya September 9, 2010 at 7:52 pm #

    Nonsense. It is more fun to spread false rumors than check facts. Surely you agree?

  18. Orange Jammies September 10, 2010 at 11:50 am #

    Cee Kay: Err, yah! How else do you keep the unmemorable ones straight in your head? 😕

    M….: Not at all. It’s a minefield of marrieds out there. Duck! One more just whooshed by! 😉

    nitya: Wordjunkie may be better equipped to answer that, since she emailed in a panic. 😛 As for me, whatever gets you to delurk, hon.

Here's a bar of chocolate. Now talk to me. :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: